The Courage to Be Free:
Discover Your Original Fearless Self
By Guy Finley
Start Seeing the Good When Things Look Bad
More often than most of us care to tell, we run into unwanted moments that seem to challenge the very fabric of our being. Almost anything can be the proverbial straw that breaks us: a friend’s betrayal, loss of health or a loved one, unexpected financial strain. Even a shattered dream can throw us into a dark nightmare. Certainly, no one gets out of his or her bed in the morning thinking, "Today I hope to encounter impossible circumstances!"
It’s well known that storm-tossed waves often expose new treasures along the shoreline; there is unexpected wealth to be collected by those who know the secret value of rough seas. And yet, even though most of us have little tolerance for anything that “rocks our boat,” the truth of the matter is self-evident:
Unwanted moments introduce us to parts of ourselves that would otherwise never get healed were it not for the difficulties that first reveal them and that lead us to release their pain.
The problem is that, when things go “badly,” we tend to do battle! Hoping to put right what’s perceived as having gone wrong, we work to rebuild our former sense of self by struggling to restore what life has washed away. But each time we resist life in this way, we miss uncovering a new and fearless understanding that is the greatest treasure of all:
The only reason life changes as it does is to reveal the secret goodness underlying those same changes.
When things go “badly” for us, we’re not intended to "return" to who and what we have been. To see the good in this idea, we must be willing to see that the pain in unwanted moments can either be a rock into which we crash time and time again -- a tempest without termination -- or that same suffering can be used as an inflection point, a place of real change that exists only when all seems lost. Let’s look at a simple illustration to illuminate this idea.
Whenever the right two stones are struck together, a spark will appear; there is a flash of light. This same principle holds true whenever we “collide” with life. In that instant parts of us that we’ve never seen before are illuminated. For instance, who hasn’t crashed into that dreaded moment when we realize that someone we love has had a change of heart towards us? Suddenly we see, perhaps for the first time, how painfully dependent we’d become upon his or her company or approval and -- connected to that same fearful neediness -- our willingness to compromise ourselves, to do whatever it takes to keep that relationship in place.
It’s this “spark” -- the light of this new and higher self-awareness -- that is our real friend in unwanted moments. It reveals what is concealed within us, releasing us from the psychic bondage of serving what had been secretly limiting our right to live without fear. If we will fan this spark of inner light, embrace instead of resist what it reveals about us, it becomes a kind of spiritual fire -- a higher level of awareness that will always help us to see the secret goodness in seemingly “bad” moments. In this way we discover that behind every bitter disappointment lives the presence of a sweet light whose power can turn any unwanted event into a new kind of victory not yet imagined.
Let me share three ideas with you about this strange and wonderful kind of spiritual goodness that seems to arrive in a package marked: “Caution! Contents under pressure!” Welcome their light into your life and you will learn to exchange resistance to unwanted moments for being receptive to the lessons they bring with them. Soon you will know, without taking thought, the greatest secret in the universe:
All things good come to those for whom the Good is all things.
1. Even though we may feel bad when we lose whatever we hold near and dear to ourselves, it is good to see that nothing in this world -- or that we can imagine -- is permanent. Learning to welcome events that foster this understanding helps liberate us from painful attachments to relationships, possessions, and of course, our own bodies. What follows is freedom from all forms of false dependency and their attending fears.
2. Even though we may feel bad when our sense of self-worth is shaken by events, it is good to see in these experiences that any sense of self derived through images, social powers, acclaim or peer approval is not who we really are. Learning to welcome events that reveal this truth helps free us from the impossible task of trying to be all things to all people and strengthens our intention to realize our unshakable original Self.
3. Even though we may feel bad when we run into a limitation of some kind, it is good to see that, apart from the certainty behind our own pressing demands on life, nothing else stands in our way. Learning to welcome events that illuminate this new understanding reveals two key lessons about limitless living. The more we resist seeing our own limitations, the greater they become! When we realize this truth, we see that limitations are illusions: they exist only for as long as we resist going through what we must to prove them false.
There is an old proverb that goes something like this: "God never takes anything from us without giving us something greater in return." The task for those of us who seek the life divine -- those who seek to live from their original fearless Self -- is to prove the trust of this timeless idea. Through it, we are set free.
Guy Finley is a spiritual teacher who distills the wisdom of the ages and makes it accessible to all. He is the author of many books and founder of the Life of Learning Foundation, where he teaches year-round. Visit him at www.guyfinley.com. In this short and snappy book, Finley explores the benefits we accrue when we realize that we are free to uncover the treasure of our true self. He believes that all the great wisdom traditions agree that we have been left this great inheritance and it is up to us to make the most of it. To make this point clear, he spells it out in three key ideas: no psychological fear, no painful resentment or regret, and no anxiety.
Reclaiming your right to be free takes courage. Finley presents three spiritual principles to help us make this passage:
- "There is no intelligence in any fearful or worried thought or feeling."
- "No negative state has the right to rule over your life."
- "Pain is neither a natural nor necessary part of making a mistake."
We have the ability to change our experience of life and not to be formed and directed by other people, forces, ideas or institutions.
In other chapters in The Courage to Be Free, the author explores further elements of liberation, including sensing the good when things look bad, finding forgiveness for those who hurt you, not feeling sorry for yourself, letting go, breaking out of ruts, and living in the present moment. Finley provides much food for thought on the path of self-discovery.
— Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, Spirituality and Practice
Once again, Guy Finley brings us wisdom we can use practically to better our lives. The Courage to Be Free reminds us of who we really are, and gives us tools to master our life. Anyone who has ever felt down, depressed, alone, helpless, or hopeless needs to read this book. It will change your life forever!”
— Justine and Michael Toms, co-founders of New Dimensions Media/Radio and co-authors of True Work: Doing What You Love and Loving What You Do
The Courage to Be Free is a gift from a master teacher, filled page after page with insights that will help calm your anxieties, allay your fears, and help you live a more present, precious life. I highly recommend this book.
— Daniel G. Amen, MD, NY Times bestselling author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Body
