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January/February 2011 Spirituality
New Year's Resolution: Celebrate Your Inner Monsters

by Amanda Owen

Make a New Year’s resolution to celebrate your monsters.

You may be familiar with the psychologist Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow, those parts of our personalities that we relegate to the shadows, that we disown. Jung pointed out that what we push away not only doesn’t go away, it controls us.

Getting to know your monsters helps you welcome them back into the fold, which is just where you want them to be. They not only become more considerate, they also will stop obstructing your attempts to manifest your goals and instead will help you achieve them.

Inclusion

Have you ever been to a party where you knew few, if any, people and stood by yourself feeling awkward while you watched others chatting and having a good time? It’s a relief when someone mercifully comes over, talks with you and introduces you to others to help you feel comfortable.

Just like you, the personality characteristics that you feel iffy about want to be welcomed. The “monster celebration” exercise helps you do just that. You invite a monster you have put in the closet to come out and join a party that you have created specifically for it.

Your Monster Celebration

What is your greatest desire for the year ahead? To begin this exercise, think about your goal. You will invite one monster that is preventing the manifestation of your goal.

• In a distraction-free environment, get comfortable and close your eyes.
• Create the setting for your party. Is it a formal affair or a beach party? Have you invited only close friends or is it a huge gala with hundreds in attendance? Pay attention to the details.
• Once your environment is just the way you want it, open the closet door. Invite only one monster so that it receives all of your attention.
• As the monster enters the room, welcome it! Let it know that you are delighted to have it come to the party. Stay with this part as long as it feels comfortable.
• When the party is over, or if the monster wants to return to the closet earlier, bring this exercise to an end. But before the monster leaves, it may want to tell you something or ask you a question.
• Once the monster is back in the closet, return to the present. Write down what occurred and any impressions you have.

Martha’s Monster Celebration

Martha ranked fairness as the most important value in her relationships. Yet, even though she bent over backward to be considerate to her partner and friends, she surrounded herself with selfish people who did not treat her very well. Her goal was to create healthy, loving relationships.

Although Martha had been given carte blanche to construct any party setting she wanted for her monster celebration, she created a bare room that contained one sad-looking buffet table.

When she opened the closet door she was surprised to see a nose-up-in-the-air diva emerge that wouldn’t even speak to her until she offered it food from the buffet. This was exactly the kind of person she despised. Yet it was this very monster that needed her acceptance. For Martha to reach her goal, she needed to recognize and acknowledge her inner diva.

The diva said little to Martha during the first monster celebration. But as they became better acquainted during subsequent celebrations, they became friends who had a genuine appreciation for each other. Over time, the monster became less haughty and Martha became less judgmental of arrogant people.

Once she was not “run” from behind the scenes by her attraction/repulsion to diva types, she shed her overly accommodating nature and became attracted to considerate people with whom she formed healthy, loving relationships.

Amanda Owen is the author of The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve (Tarcher/Penguin). Visit www.thepowerofreceiving.com.