January/February 2011 Spirituality
Fairy Tales Do Come True
by Dr. Allan G. Hunter
Finding the partner of your dreams isn’t that difficult. The Grimm Brothers’ fairy tales contain a wealth of useful guidance (read the original stories, not the Disney version). Everything we commonly call psychology is there — and each tale will show you how to deal with things that prevent you from being happy.
Once upon a time, there were six steps to finding your prince or princess.
1. Don’t put up with second best. The princess in The Frog King does not kiss the frog. She tries to kill it. That’s not in the Disney version. Finally when she says that a frog is not what she wants, she shows self-respect and allows the frog to be who he fully could be, too. If you don’t want frogs in your life, demand better. Ask for what you really want.
2. Be courageous. Don’t wait for a fairy godmother to save you. Cinderella didn’t stay at home, she escaped the house and went to the ball without any help from a fairy godmother. She decided to take her opportunity, defy her stepmother and go. And she went three times. Sometimes we have to defy convention.
3. Be kind to others, no matter how poor they seem. All the heroes of the Grimm tales are kind to others. The princess in Brother and Sister is kind to animals, Snow White looks after the dwarfs, the princess in The Skillful Huntsman feeds the poor. As they do so, they grow their compassion — and so become more worthy of love.
4. Watch out for those who don’t want you to be yourself, or who want to destroy you. Snow White’s stepmother doesn’t want her to be more beautiful than she is herself, and so tries to kill her. Rapunzel’s stepmother wants to keep her locked up forever. Neither succeeds. Family can sometimes hold us back that way.
5. Accept that you’ll be afraid sometimes. Cinderella went to the ball three times and ran away three times, but this let her know that she really felt strongly for the prince. Fear has its uses, just don’t let it stop you from beginning.
6. Remember your inner royalty. A princess or a king is just a label Grimm uses to indicate that someone has a large soul and true potential. We can all become the king or queen of our own emotional life, but only if we decide to take charge of it.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Dr. Allan G. Hunter, author of 
Princes, Frogs, and Ugly Sisters: The Healing Power of the Grimm Brothers’ Tales
, is a professor of literature, counselor and therapist. Visit www.allanhunter.net.