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November/December 2008 Featured Stories
Seven Steps from Feeling to Healing

by Iyanla Vanzant

Unfortunately, we all too often get so caught up in what others tell us about who we are that we fail to do our own independent investigation. Self-investigation is an elementary step toward spirituality, and it is an inner process rather than an outer destination.

We can get so stuck in our interpretations of the facts others have given us that we stop seeking the truth for ourselves. Our lives are the vehicles that teach us how to fly. Yet, we can be so sidetracked by the facts of our lives that we forget we have wings. We are grounded by our stories.

Each story represents a set of beliefs that are etched into our consciousness by experience. We are not told that beliefs are the foundation upon which we build our lives. Rarely, if ever, are we informed that as we change our beliefs, we alter our perception, our vision of reality. In fact, we are encouraged to believe that our experiences justify our beliefs. The truth is that it is our beliefs, although programmed and conditioned into our consciousness, that create our experiences.

The seven-level healing paradigm will support you in recognizing and embracing the truth of who you are in the eyes of God.

1. Know yourself. This is the level of acknowledgment. Acknowledgment is the door to healing and growth. Until we are willing to acknowledge what we do, we have no power to choose or change our behavior. Acknowledgment does not require explanation or defense. It is simply a process of recognition. Only through a willingness to become aware, to acknowledge and accept all aspects of who you are, can you know your self, your unique, divine, authentic identity. To truly know yourself means to become fully aware of both your divine and human nature and to utilize that knowledge as a basis of choice in all aspects of life.
2. See yourself. This is the level of awareness. It takes acknowledgment to a deeper level. Through awareness you become attuned to your moment-by-moment responses and reactions called "triggers." When you are aware of which triggers are present, you are empowered to heal wounds and make new choices. The goals of awareness are these: right thought, right action, right response (rather than reaction). This level of development and growth requires a willingness to engage in a process of introspection and self-reflection.
3. Be yourself. This is the level of inner personal integrity where thought, feeling and action are congruent. In order to be yourself, you must have inner cooperation on all levels of existence (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual). This level also requires a willingness to live beyond external expectations and habitual responses.
4. Accept yourself. This level requires diligent and compassionate self-forgiveness of all the judgments you hold about past behaviors and experiences. It is the loving and self-support required to learn from previous actions in order to take corrective steps. Acceptance cannot be facilitated without acknowledgment and awareness.
5. Trust yourself. This level requires the willingness to live beyond past errors, unconscious choices and self-judgments. Knowing that you are authorized by the universe to re-create yourself and your experiences - moment by moment - supports the development of trust. There is also the level of commitment to following inner guidance and directives without fear or hesitation.
6. Honor yourself. At this level we are each called to live in a state of radical honesty with regard to our thoughts and emotions. While being yourself requires integrity, honoring yourself requires that you act in your physical-world reality in a way that is self-supportive and self-nurturing. Honor is another principle. It is the internal impetus not to discount or deny who you are, what you know or what you feel at any given time. To honor is to take a stand for yourself, within yourself and to stand for what you know to be true for you, regardless of any opposition. It is through honoring yourself that you build your own value and worth.
7. Appreciate yourself. At this level we become willing to give ourselves credit for the small, although seemingly insignificant steps we take to practice each of the other six levels. Self-appreciation builds a greater awareness of inner and outer healing and progress. It also opens the heart to experience and express more compassion toward the self and others. Appreciation is a function of the principle of gratitude.

It is the way in which you demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of your own time, energy and attention. Appreciation is a form of gratitude that conveys support and recognition.

Iyanla Vanzant is a guru and girlfriend, talk-show advicemeister and best-selling author, whose first book evolved from an empowerment booklet she wrote for African-American women. Visit www.innervisionsworldwide.com. Excerpted from the 20th anniversary edition of Vanzant's Tapping the Power Within: A Path to Self-Empowerment for Women, published by SmileyBooks, 2008, www.hayhouse.com.