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July/August 2008 Spirituality
Starting a Kindness Revolution

by Sue Patton Thoele

Being able to open your heart to yourself and others and reopen it when it snaps shut in the face of danger, despair and disillusionment may be the greatest challenge of your lifetime.

Because we are vulnerable humans prone to defensiveness, opening our hearts is an ongoing endeavor. With a genuine desire to keep your heart open as well as a deep and accepting understanding of how difficult it can be, you can be openhearted more often than not.

Earlier this year my mood was bleak as the postblizzard streets were ugly and hazardous. Things had not been going my way, and I felt like a teeth-clenching, overstimulated, closed-hearted witch whose every nerve was exposed and jangling. Driving to an appointment in town, I begged, "Please, angels, God, all my guides and guardians, I need help opening my heart again!"

Nothing happened. No miracle, no warm, fuzzy feelings, only my continual reassurance to myself that awareness is the first step toward change, and I was painfully aware of my pinched heart.

While maneuvering the ice-clogged streets, I saw a police car blocking a right turn lane. As I approached, the reason for the car's position became apparent. A policewoman was gently and cautiously helping an elderly woman navigate the treacherously slippery crosswalk. This vignette of kindness caused tears to flow and was a wonderful answer to my prayer. It was the beginning of my heart's much-needed thaw.

Until we are fully enlightened, our hearts will cycle between open and closed, frozen and flowing. To assure more opening than closing, it is extremely important to maintain a climate of gentle understanding toward yourself during both frozen and flowing times.

Kindness Revolution

I like to think it's no accident that our species is called humankind. Humankind! What if we - just you and me - made a commitment to mindfully integrate kindness into each and every day of our lives? We would start a kindness revolution. Let's do it. Let's become the proverbial pebbles in the pond and send ripples of kindness out into the world each day. Those whose hearts are touched by our kindness will, hopefully, be encouraged to pass it on, and a revolution of much-needed kindness will have begun. Let's live up to our name by evolving into its implication - humans who are consistently kind.

In his wonderfully friendly and openhearted way, the Dalai Lama is already a kindness revolutionary. He states, "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." One of the blessings of believing in a philosophy of kindness is that kindness opens the hearts of both giver and receiver.

Another great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh, is also a member of the kindness ranks. He explains to a friend in the Thousand Acre Wood, "Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness. However big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo."

Winnie's lesson is a good one to remember. No matter how big and tough someone looks, they want and need kindness as much as we do. As we start our powerful, heart-opening and heartwarming revolution of kindness, what better companions can we have than the Dalai Lama and Winnie the Pooh?

Being kind in thought, word and deed opens your heart.

Sue Patton Thoele, author of The Mindful Woman: Gentle Practices for Restoring Calm, Finding Balance & Opening Your Heart, is a psychotherapist, former hospice chaplain and bereavement group leader. Visit www.suepattonthoele.com. Reprinted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Inc.The Mindful Woman by Sue Patton Thoele, www.newharbinger.com.