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September/October 2007 Spirituality
When Walls Become Doorways: Creativity and the Transforming Illness

by Tobi Zausner, Ph.D.

Tobi Zausner, Ph.D.

In 1792 Francisco Goya (Spanish, 1746-1828), also known as Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, realized his health was deteriorating. He was having blackouts and hallucinations. When Goya received an invitation and art commission from his friend Sebastian Martinez in Cadiz, he wanted very much to go, but on this visit he would lose his hearing. Martinez said that Goya arrived at his house already ill and then became worse. The artist's symptoms were deafness, partial paralysis, noise in his head, confusion and a loss of balance.

He was in bed for months, deaf, half paralyzed and intermittently delirious. Most of these problems were temporary, but his deafness was permanent. The only sound Goya could hear for the rest of his life was a buzzing and roaring in his ears. Forty-six years old and profoundly deaf, he now communicated through hand signals and writing.

We may never know Goya's exact diagnosis, but there are many suggestions. Some possible explanations are acute otitis (an infection of the middle ear) that severely damaged his Eustachian tube; Meniere's syndrome, which can cause vertigo and noise in the ears; syphilis; botulism; neurolabyrinthitis (inflammation of the inner ear); typhoid fever; malaria; and lead poisoning from years of exposure to the white lead pigment in his paintings.

Goya felt that he barely escaped with his life, but after the ordeal his art transformed and he created his best work. The challenge itself may have galvanized him into action. Artists seek challenges, or else they wouldn't choose creativity with its constant demands. Working also gave him strength. Goya said the group of paintings he made shortly after his recovery were not only for income but "to occupy my imagination, which have been depressed by dwelling on my misfortune." Goya's deafness was not a world of silence but rather a barrage of unwanted sound. Because of this, he may also have used painting to divert himself from the constant inner noise.

Difficult as it was, the illness became a turning point and afterward his production increased. Perhaps the deafness that limited his social interactions forced him to concentrate on art, thus making him more prolific. Goya previously painted on commission and now he painted more for himself, resulting in a greater variety of subject matter. Before being sick, Goya made brightly colored paintings, but afterward dark shadows appear, giving his images greater structure and power.

Tobi Zausner is an art historian and award-winning visual artist with works in major museums and private collections around the world. Visit www.tobizausner.com. Excerpted from When Walls Become Doorways: Creativity and the Transforming Illness by Tobi Zausner. Reprinted with permission by Harmony Books, www.crownpublishing.com.