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May/June 2007 Spirituality
The Thought of Going Home

by Gayle Gregory

They say we can never go home again ? perhaps we should

Gayle Gregory

The child's need to be accepted by the parent is an intricate dance.

For several weeks I had been hearing a voice telling me it was time to jump in the car and go visit mom. Going home is always interesting for me. I love my mother dearly, but I still desired her full understanding and acceptance. I knew that she loved me in her way, but I wanted her to love me in my way.

As I sat in meditation, the story was still present so I asked Source to help me let go of this need for acceptance and I clearly heard God's voice say, "When are you going to accept you?"

Along with the question came an energetic cleansing - another level of constriction around my heart fell away as I accepted the truth of the question. I was the one who hadn't accepted my self. It was never about mother.

It is never about another. It is always about our story. We project our story onto others -mother, father, son, daughter, friend, stranger - and make it about them.

As I watched this understanding unfold I saw how I create and speak the words of each character in my dream world - in my mind's world - like a puppeteer staging a play. I could feel the energy of anger, sorrow, frustration with which I imbued each one and how it translated into this body I call mine. They were not speaking; I was speaking to myself through them.

In fascination, I continued to observe the understanding unfold. I saw how these perceived slights created my energetic body and generated the physical reality in which I found myself. They created my entire experience: my sense of worth, my state of abundance or scarcity, my world view, my response to events and whether I saw them as opportunity or problem, my connection or lack thereof with each person I came into contact.

My interpretation created my happiness, my sadness, my ranting and raving, my compassion, my understanding, my willingness to love or to withhold love, and even created my experience of God.

There was no other person - no mother, son, husband, friend - there was only my version of them. It dawned on me with the brightness of an angel's wing that if there was no other person, then I, this person who was creating the others, did not exist either. It was all mind, endlessly creating.

As Sri Ramana Maharshi said, what is called the world is only a thought.

Gayle Gregory, co-author of The Grand Experiment, an Expedition of Self-Discovery, is a coach and consultant dedicated to working with organizations and individuals who are committed to radically transforming the way the humanity interacts individually, locally and globally. Visit www.pure-possibility.org.