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January/February 2007 Living Now
Coaching: A Kinder, Gentler Path to Change

by Holly Stokes

Holly Stokes

Coaches are appearing everywhere in every field and industry. Wildly popular in corporate settings, working with a coach is becoming increasingly common for the individual.

What makes it so popular?

Coaching offers the structure and support for creating change in any area of your life, including relationships, business, health, and even personal growth and development.

NLP coaching combines Inner ChangeWork processes of NLP (Neuro-Linguistics Programming) with the empowering format of coaching, creating a new model of change that transforms resistance and conflict into self-awareness and results.

In the old model of personal growth, we would identify what we didn't like about ourselves, create goals for change, and then, as we didn't meet our goals, we beat ourselves up for not being more disciplined, focused or motivated. Discipline is simply the ability to make yourself do something that you don't really want to do. Because of the frustration of this cycle, we would give up, and many tend to see change as difficult.

Coaching is the kinder, gentler path to personal change. The coach offers ongoing support to stay on track and focused as the client works to reach achievable goals. The tools of NLP help to access subconscious information that affects our daily lives and choices.

Through NLP tools, we can address deeper core issues such as beliefs, meanings and a person's internal framework, which determines how he experiences life. As we work on these deeper levels, we can address any fears that create resistance to change, replace limiting beliefs, and overcome the inner obstacles that have kept us stuck in the past. Change in the outer world then happens easily and naturally as a function of what we have changed in the inner world of the self.

My client, Jim, had just been divorced from his second wife. He felt depressed and isolated. He lacked confidence in his relationships and it affected his health. He couldn't walk more than one mile without feeling sore and getting blisters. Through NLP, we shifted his beliefs about relationships and worked to create a healthier internal framework. He found renewed energy and was able to increase his exercise to three times a week and returned to doing the things he loved, namely swing dancing.

Shortly after shifting a belief of "life is hard" to "life is fun and exciting," the blisters disappeared and did not return. He made new social connections and began to enjoy life again. Jim illustrates how our psychology and social interactions affect our health and well-being, even our biology.

Through the NLP tools, we can address the deeper issues behind physical symptoms, and create an internal framework that is positive and supports our success and life enjoyment.

Holly Stokes, Master NLP Practitioner, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, offers private sessions, coaching, classes and retreats. Jan. 18, NLP Coaching Seminar: Keeping New Year's Resolutions, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Satsang Yoga, 6115 NE 114^th Ave. in Vancouver. Visit www.ExpandingPotentials.net or call 360-837-3209.