March/April 2005 Spirituality
Wisdom From a Higher Plane
by Candace Doyle
Fearing a Broken Heart
I am in the process of getting divorced and have met a very wonderful
man who touches my soul. I am scared of a relationship because of a
fear of not being perfect, and my main fear is that of a broken heart.
I am wondering how this relationship will work out and how I should
handle it so that no feelings will be hurt. I want to be with this man.
Will I be? Will it be a forever relationship? Thank you.
ask how to have this relationship without any feelings being hurt. Well,
you will have to roll yourself up in cotton batting, lock yourself up
in a closet and not have contact with anyone or anything, and then not
allow your mind to think any thoughts. Perhaps then, with a little luck,
you may not have your feelings hurt, and yet, even that is probably
So, in the prospect of beginning a relationship, what you must do is
expect and look forward to the opportunity to have your feelings hurt
so that you can come to know yourself better, know the areas where you
are challenged and pray that those places become healed and whole
and filled with faith and love rather than fear, as they are now.
To have a fear of your heart breaking will allow you first and foremost
to focus on your heart breaking rather than to focus on your heart opening
and allowing more love, more joy, and more capacity for love to be within
The fear of a broken heart is what will create a broken heart. Nothing
else can actually do it. You can be abandoned, abused, violated, unloved,
rejected, and none of that need cause you to have a broken heart; it
is how you handle the experience as to whether or not you will experience
a broken heart. You can also have lots of love, support, and kindness
in your life and still walk around believing that your heart is broken
or will be broken. It is strictly your perspective and your experience
of this situation that will cause you to have a broken heart or not.
To want to be with this man is one thing and to have it be what is
best for you may be something different altogether. For you, the most
important thing is to pray only for that which is in your highest good
and to avoid the prayers that specifically ask to be with this person
forever. You cannot focus on or worry about the future. It is something
that is ever-changing based on your own evolution and where you are
in your life. Something may be perceived as forever and then you could
shift your perspective in an afternoon and change the course of your
life entirely. The future is not important; it is the now that is important.
How do you perceive now? How do you love now? How open are you now to
that which is for your highest good? Allow yourself to pray for peace
and openness within your own heart so that you can receive and give
love in the ways that you truly desire. That is your birthright, and
if you truly want it, it will be done.
Advice From Within - Copyright 2004 by Foundation
Inspired by A Course in Miracles, Candace Doyle has been
hearing and sharing the Voice of the Holy Spirit within her as a discernible,
conversational Voice for over 10 years. Candace and her husband, DavidPaul,
are the authors of The Journey That Never Was, a guide to hearing
Gods Voice regardless of ones faith, religion, or personal
beliefs. For more information or to submit a question, visit their website