September/October 2003 Alternative Health
Issues of Growing Older—At Any Age

by Carol McMichaels

My jaw almost dropped, as into my office walked a young woman—I’d guess twenty five or so, and drop dead gorgeous. Stylishly cut shiny blond hair, bottle green eyes, beautiful face, lightly tanned flawless skin, medium height, slim and shapely. A perfect ten by all American standards.

This lovely creature had come to me because she was suffering, really suffering from the fear of Getting Old. To her, thirty was scarily close to Old. Forty rang the death knell of life as she knew it! And in preparation for that awful state, she craved guidance about spiritual matters, assuming that her spiritual nature was all she’d have remaining after passing forty.

An extreme case? Yes. Nevertheless, a sorry indication of our society’s adulation of youth, and its still active diminution of the joys and value of older years.

My young client thought of aging as Getting Old—something that happened to her against her will and with absolutely no benefits. I suggested to her that she think, instead, of Growing Older. I had her recall times as a child when being told "when you’re older you can…" signified the magic world of the grown up who could do anything she chose to do! A time when "older" meant coveted privileges.

Yet, there are real issues we encounter all along the path as age progresses. Many, such as visible physical changes, are universal and distressing. Others, dealing with small and large personal pasts often are assumed by others either never to have existed, or to have been already dealt with.

Some people sail unscathed through all the changes like Pollyana, viewing everything through rose colored glasses. There’s much to recommend in that attitude as long as it doesn’t mask valid emotions such as anger, loss, guilt and so forth.

Probably a larger number of aging people simply look at the changes, losses, separations, and cope. One of the advantages to having lived longer is that coping becomes more doable.

I find that life becomes easier to live as I grow older. I know so very much more than I ever conceived. And I know it first hand. I’ve lived it.

Let’s look at some of the advantages of having been on this earth for many years.

There’s something to be said for "been there, done that". The broader view of events that comes with experience provides us with many more options than we saw as inexperienced youngsters.

Having witnessed occasions when nothing much was done, yet things worked out well, enables us to see the possible value of patience.

The drama - that powerful, scintillating drama - can be given over to the thunder and lightning in favor of a somewhat boring, but rewarding sense of creative calm.

We can relinquish our internal demand for control in all situations, realizing that it just ain’t possible. We can control only some things, letting the Universe take care of the rest.

For those who were head turners, the change to being an ordinary mortal unworthy of a turned head can offer a welcome relief from the pressure of always being "On".

We simply don’t give a fig that we may appear foolish because we entertain "outrageous, implausible, impossible" concepts at odds with our left brain, concretist society.

In fact, we give little consideration to opinions others have of us, because we feel entitled to and capable of being whatever we are, without apology. We’ve earned it!

Our creativity flourishes. Now released from the shoulds of conventional expectations, it can find its particular direction and be enjoyed, not only for its product, but simply for its existence.

We learn that intention can heal in many different ways. And that there are some things it cannot move.

Acceptance of ourselves and of others releases long held tensions and allows both earthly love and spiritual love and connection to flow effortlessly and abundantly.

Life as we know it may indeed pass. But, as we’re bound to "git on with it" - like it or not - we may as well savor the process!

Carole McMichaels offers workshops and private sessions on Life Problem Solutions, using Energy Psychology Techniques. Please call 503-466-1085 for information.