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July/August 2003 Living Now
What About the Boys?

by Ron Leese

When I first heard the above question, "What about the Boys?" I knew - even without thinking about the answer - that a sad fact about our society had been sounded. And my immediate response and answer was - Not Much!

Of course special children blessed with enlightened awareness or special powers are of curious interest in the spiritual community, but I rarely (if ever) hear discussion about the needs of the common, everyday child, or boys in particular. It's as though many of us men who are deeply aware of the effects of having an abusive or distant father, still choose to conveniently avoid the issue by saying, "well... yes, that's true, we had it tough...but...oh well...." and then try to forget the whole issue by living a life that is more or less self centered but with convenient "spiritual ideals" to subdue all doubt as to our intention. The other option, of course, might be to open one's heart a little; actually be and express the love you seek, and, paradoxically, find the healing and fulfillment that was so deeply desired in the first place.

If one thinks that our understanding and treatment of young boys has somehow improved over the years just consider the negative consequences of the high divorce rate, the isolation and insecurity of boys of single mothers and the immense, overall stress on the family of today. In fact, it would appear that school yard bullying, child abuse, drugs, pornography, and the horrible instances of violent crime in the home and school are broadening the range of possible damage even further. One can only imagine how many boys there are in the world who hunger for this intimate, personal, positive validation that can only occur between a boy and an adult man. Is there any wonder that so many young boys and men in our society are violent to themselves, others, or society in general when this basic, fundamental need has not been met? Think about it! 

If you haven't already guessed, this is an article about the need of boys to have a positive male influence in their lives and an invitation to consider the challenge and joy of mentoring in the newly formed Boys to Men Mentoring Program in Portland. Our goal is to serve boys aged 12 to 14 who do not have an adult, male role model in their lives. A once a week commitment for one year with your mentee is required as is participation in a once a month support meeting with other mentors. Mentors must be at least 25 years old with traits such as kindness, flexibility, commitment and perseverance. This program is a 501 (c)(3), non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible and welcome. If interested please contact Ron Leese at 503-788-7144 or rjleese@aol.com.