March/April 2003 Spirituality
Four Powerful Spiritual Tools for Resolving Conflict

by Vicky Thompson

When someone hurts you, love is the last thing you feel. But love is the most important part of a spiritual practice that uses four powerful spiritual tools to heal conflict with others: love, compassion, forgiveness and personal responsibility.

As a spiritual state of being, love opens your heart to new possibilities and helps you to accept choices made by others. Building on the foundation of love, you can forgive them by accessing your compassion or empathy, allowing you to take personal responsibility for your own reactions.

To begin healing conflict, start with love. Love shifts your viewpoint from pain to a place of acceptance. By accepting that you are having a difficult experience, you can choose how to view the issue: as an opportunity to choose reconnection with your inner wisdom or as a painful blow to life. Say the following affirmation out loud until you feel love providing power to resolve the issue.

Love Affirmation

In this moment, I choose to love you, right where you are. I accept all of you, the dark and the light. In honoring you, I know the power of love. Love accepts all. I am love.

Compassion is the ability to feel empathy for others and act toward them in a nonjudgmental way. On this journey of life, sometimes people fall and may not be able to find their way. In having compassion, or a belief in the highest and best for others, you have faith in their greater potential. Say the following compassion affirmation out loud until you feel the commonality between you and the other person.

Compassion Affirmation

God created me through the power of love.
God created you so that we could share this experience of life together.
Through you, I am able to know myself deeper in all ways.
Through me, you are able to learn and remember your heart of God.
Together, we journey through life as equal partners, always holding the highest and best for each other.
Through each other’s eyes, we see the great potential of God living within.

Forgiveness allows you to take control of your response in a conflict situation. You can choose to forgive the other person, allowing you both the grace to continue without pain on your journey. After using the following forgiveness meditation, you may feel emotions about other issues with this person or pain over similar conflicts with others. Continue meditating, focusing on these issues.

Forgiveness Meditation

Close your eyes and breathe deeply. With each inward breath, feel the love of Spirit flowing into the crown of your head. Embraced by love, you allow pain and fear to gently float out of your body, returning to the heavens. Accept the love, allowing it to release the pain of the situation with the other person.

Now hold yourself and the other person in a safe, quiet place in your heart. You both are washed by the love of God flowing through your being. Bathed in light of love, you see each other as God sees you: wonderful beings on a journey home to your inner selves. Holding both of you in love, say out loud, "Dear friend, I hold love and only the highest and best for you in this moment. I forgive you and I forgive myself for the painful choices made in this situation. I let this experience go with love."

Let love fill your heart completely as the image of you both dissolves in the light. Stay in this place of love and forgiveness for a moment, remembering this peace of body, mind and spirit.

The final step in the spiritual practice of conflict resolution is taking personal responsibility. This step cannot occur until you feel love for yourself and the other person, which allows you to access compassion in the situation and move toward release and forgiveness. When your heart is open, you can authentically take responsibility for your actions in the conflict.

Personal Responsibility Prayer

God, I hold your power and grace to take responsibility for my behavior that does not serve me or others in the highest way. I recognize that sometimes I fall short of doing my best, and I behave in ways that do not represent the great loving being that I truly am. Through your love, God, I am able to let my light of divinity shine forth, illuminating my choices and allowing me to act as a divine instrument of Spirit. For those that I have hurt, I extend my love. For those who have hurt me, I accept their love. In love, in faith and in hope, I remember my divine heart.

Use love combined with the power of compassion, forgiveness and personal responsibility to let go of painful experiences, allowing yourself and others to continue upon life’s journey in the light of Spirit.

These tools are based on concepts from Vicky Thompson’s new book The Jesus Path: 7 Steps to a Cosmic Awakening (Red Wheel/Weiser, $16.95). For more spiritual tools, visit her website at www.journeywithspirit.com.