January/February 2003 Living Now
Spiritual Answers to Everyday Questions

by Guy Finley

Guy Finley
Question: You say not to deny fear or fight it or agree with it. Please explain.

GF: First, think of this idea: The way out is through. Now add to that the understanding that you can't make fear go away by not wanting to be afraid. You end your relationship with fear by recognizing the only hold it has over you are the negative images it projects in your mind about things to come. See these things and walk through them. Don't be afraid to fail and you'll succeed in being free of fear.

Question: What do you mean by "walk through fear"?

GF: It means to do what you don't want to do in the moment you don't want to do it. And you do this not for the purpose of succeeding, but for the purpose of seeing. Attempt to act through your fear, instead of letting your fear act through you. You may find out things about it (and yourself) that will cause you to want to learn more, and self-knowledge leads to self-freedom.

Question: Can you explain what it means to be identified, and how it keeps us from seeing what is true?

GF: When you think that who you are is connected to something you are not, you have identified with it. Remember the last time you accidentally scuffed your brand-new shoes? It felt like it was you who got damaged! That's what it means to be identified with something outside. It hurts! None of this is too difficult to understand when it comes to things outside of us; but when it comes to the word "I," suddenly the mental fog rolls in.
When you think of yourself, when you say the word "I," there is a great storehouse of accumulated memories and experiences that rush forth forming an almost solid wall of thoughts and feelings. In that moment of thinking about your "self," you feel real because as these waves of your accumulated past wash through you, it gives you the feeling of being you; but no matter how many times or how strongly you may feel it, this sensation of "I" is not you. You are not your past. This false identity/self is a borrowed life; it is derived from something that in itself is only temporary.

Question: After certain negative events take place, I think I'll regain my peace of mind if I just "get even." How do I free myself from being overcome by such troubling thoughts?

GF: Thoughts of revenge create the very pressure in the mind they promise to relieve. All acts of revenge are not only useless, but destroy the one who acts from them. These are not just words. Refuse to give way to dark thoughts and feelings for long enough, and they will reveal themselves to you as being the secret destroyers they are. I promise you that such negativities have no life outside of the one that they steal from you when you act from them. Work at this until you see the fact of these dark forces. They don't bring the freedom from the pain they promise. 

Question: I still seem to get caught up with my fears of the future: Am I going to reach my goals? Am I on the right path? I find myself going around in circles, and it always comes back to the fear. I try to remain in the Present Moment but the doubts seem to creep back in. How do I stop all this self-doubt?

GF: We do what we value; what our present level of self finds fulfilling. This is difficult to understand for the self that believes it doesn't want to fear, but nevertheless, the fact remains that we do. As we work to become aware of any of these distasteful inner states, our very awareness of them not only increases our understanding of their real nature, but serves to help us lose interest in the feelings these states provide. It is a wonderful thing to begin outgrowing our own lower nature. It can be done if you persist in working at it.

Guy Finley lives and teaches in southern Oregon. He is the author of eighteen books and tapes on the subject of self-realization and inner development, and founder of the Life of Learning Foundation, a non-profit center for Higher Self study. Guy offers classes at the center and worldwide in his live monthly chat room classroom. For more information or to sign up for a free weekly Key Lesson, visit www.guyfinley.com or call 541-476-1200.