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September/October 2002 Spirituality
The Toltec Artist

by Kelsey Bunker

We are creators. This is the purpose of the mind. In every moment we are creating our lives. Life is expressing itself through us, and we shape that expression through our use of the word. We begin by using the word to define the world as we know it. The power of the word is so great that whatever we truly believe manifests in our lives. If you want to know what you believe look at your life. Your way of life, your family, your business, everything that you believe about yourself and your world is your creation. You are the artist of your life.

But what is it that you are creating? Is your creation based in fear, scarcity or unhappiness, or is your creation based on love, abundance and joy? If your life is the canvas, then your beliefs are the paints. How you apply the paint to the canvas is up to you. There are two ways to be an artist. One is with awareness, knowing that the expression of our lives is our own creation. We choose the colors, the method, and the tools. We are one hundred percent responsible. The other way is without awareness. On this path we do not even notice what we have created in our lives. The colors appear in a seemingly random and unpredictable manner. Yet even without awareness, we are the creators. We just don’t know how we create.

What you believe, you manifest. You are that powerful. If you are not satisfied with your life, then you can re-create it. However, you must have the courage to see your life as it is. You can begin to develop your awareness by noticing what you do, how you react, and what you think. Once you do this, you begin to see that the words that you use silently in your mind are the most powerful words of all. You have manifested everything that you believe about yourself, everything that you think you are.

Most beliefs originate during childhood. You may have adopted them in order to survive or to receive love and approval. As you grow older your actions are based on these beliefs about what you need to do to be loved or to survive. These actions can result in the painful emotions of self-rejection.

The typical cycle is to create a situation based on beliefs. The belief system, what is good or bad, is determined through a series of judgments. An emotional reaction follows; then the emotional reaction is judged, also based on the beliefs. You use your belief system to judge yourself when you create a situation. When you have an emotional reaction to that situation you, again, judge yourself for your emotions.

Every time we judge ourselves and reject the natural emotional response, we lose a little bit of our integrity. Our integrity is compromised every time we listen to someone tell us how we should be, how we should act, or how we should feel. Every time that we go against ourselves or judge ourselves as not good enough, we lose a little more of our integrity. At some point we may rebel and ask, "What do I want?" or "Who am I?" Now, we are ready to begin the recovery of the Authentic Self. Asking these questions opens the door to awareness. You can begin to see how you create and by unlearning old beliefs and habits, you can transform the palette of your life.

Changing the belief system allows the Authentic Self to create from true feelings, which are the basis of our integrity. Living from our place of integrity means we understand that we are choosing the beliefs that we will create from, and that we will use the emotions as the barometer for those choices. Our emotions are messages from the Authentic Self. There is no such thing as a good emotion or a bad emotion. It is our judgment of the emotion that makes it good or bad. If we are uncomfortable or uneasy, we simply need to look at what we believe about ourselves to perceive our emotions in a different way. We can learn to master our emotions by mastering our thoughts and the words we use to define ourselves.

It is our true nature to express love. When we learn to master words of self-love, then we become the master of choice. Being a master of choice allows us to pick and choose the colors of our palette from which we can create our lives as masterpieces. When we live this truth, every action will produce happiness, abundance and the absolute fulfillment of who we are.

Kelsey Bunker is an apprentice with don Miguel Ruiz and currently teaches classes in the Portland area on the Four Agreements. For more information call 503/288-4229 or email b1kelsey@aol.com