July/August 2002 Alternative Health
The Neuro-Semantics of Self-Esteem

by M. Edward Borasky

Whenever I tell people that I teach Meta-States® and Neuro-Semantics®, they usually ask me, "What’s that?" Neuro refers to neurology: the brain and the nervous system. Semantics is the study of words and their meanings. Put them together and you have Neuro-Semantics: the study of how our words and the words of others affect our thoughts and emotions.

In Neuro-Semantics, as in many other disciplines, we consider the mind and body to be an integrated system. And a state is simply a state of that system – the sum total of your mental, emotional and behavioral experience at any given moment. Typical states are angry, fearful, joyful, sad, calm, stressed, tired and energized. A primary state is a state about something external. So, for example, if someone is afraid of bunny rabbits, that’s a primary state of fear about bunny rabbits.

And a Meta-State is a state about a primary state or about another Meta-State. So, if a person is guilty about his fear of bunny rabbits, that’s a Meta-State of guilt about fear. And if he’s tired of his guilt, that’s a Meta-State of tiredness about guilt about fear, and so on.

So why learn Neuro-Semantics? Not all of our states serve us well – some states limit our choices and keep us from living life to its fullest. In fact, when we turn negative energies like guilt and fear against our own states, we create Dragon States. There’s a whole process in Neuro-Semantics called Dragon Slaying specifically designed to turn those dragon states into royal states, by replacing limiting beliefs, decisions and states – those that no longer serve you well – with empowering ones. It’s that simple and it’s that profound.

Let’s look at a practical application – the Neuro-Semantics of Self-Esteem. In Neuro-Semantics, we recognize a continuum from Acceptance to Appreciation to Awe/Esteem, where Acceptance is welcoming, inviting in, not judging; Appreciation is gentle openness, welcoming warmly with attraction / love; and Awe / Esteem is highly valuing as important, worthwhile, significant, welcoming with awe, honor.

We start with Acceptance. Think of something you might not necessarily like, but you accept. Amplify this state … on a scale of 1 to 10, you want to be at least 8˝ or 9. Don’t try to make it happen … just let it happen. Let the feeling of Acceptance build.

Now think of something you appreciate. Again, something simple is best. Notice how Appreciation feels … access the Meta-State of Appreciation. Again, amplify the state as much as possible … let it build to at least 8˝.

Now, think of something that you stand in awe of. It could be something spiritual, the Universe, God … something you honor and esteem highly. Notice how Awe feels … access the Meta-State of Awe. Again, amplify to at least an 8˝.

Next, you can do what we call setting an anchor. You can close your eyes and imagine a volume control knob. The leftmost position is Acceptance, the middle position is Appreciation and the rightmost position is Awe. You can access the Meta-State of Acceptance and visualize the volume control on the left, then access Appreciation and visualize the volume control in the middle, then access Awe and visualize the volume control on the right.

Now you’re ready to apply these Meta-States to yourself. First, access Acceptance and apply it to yourself. Give yourself permission to accept yourself, just as you accept the traffic or the weather. If you want, you can use the volume control visualization. What you are doing is bringing the resource of Acceptance to bear on yourself.

Then move to Appreciation … give yourself permission to appreciate yourself; turn the volume control up to Appreciation. Then move to Awe – give yourself permission to highly esteem yourself. Notice how it feels when you move to the highest level of Awe and apply that resource to yourself. We call this process "Esteeming yourself".

Now, think of some contexts, situations or events that might tempt you to self-contempt, to question yourself, to doubt yourself, or dislike yourself. Pick one where you’d prefer a more resourceful response. Imagine yourself in that situation and apply the resource of Awe to yourself in the situation. If you need to, you can start with Acceptance, move up to Appreciation and then to Awe. Notice how this resource transforms the old context.

Now, ask yourself, "Are you ready to esteem yourself no matter what?" Imagine moving through life in the weeks and months to come with this frame of mind … do you like that thought? Notice how this frame of mind would transform things for you. Then, ask yourself, "Does every aspect of the higher parts of your mind fully agree with this?"

In summary, Neuro-Semantics is about accessing your personal genius, maximizing emotional intelligence, mastering your beliefs, values and decisions and reaching higher-level awareness and creativity. There’s a wealth of information on the World Wide Web about Neuro-Semantics if you want to learn more about this fascinating discipline.

P.S.: Don’t let the big words frighten you – Neuro-Semantics is fun!

M. Edward Borasky is a mathematician, computer scientist, researcher, composer, coach and Neuro-Semantics® Trainer. Contact him at znmeb@aracnet.com or www.pdxneurosemantics.com. The main Neuro-Semantics web site is www.neurosemantics.com