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March/April 2002 Conscious Media
There's Nothing Wrong With You
An Interview With Cheri Huber

by Connie Hill

Cheri Huber has been a student and teacher of Zen for more than 30 years, teaches at the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys, California and is the author of more than a dozen books including “There Is Nothing Wrong With You.”

Connie: How did you get started practicing Zen?

Cheri: In Buddhism one comes to a path of awakening in two ways: through intelligence, like thinking "there's more to this than meets the eye" or by having suffered enough. I was definitely in the second category! My question was "is there more to this than meets the eye?" But I was motivated by desperation. My search began with western philosophy. It was interesting, but they were asking questions just like me. Then I moved on to religion. I began my search with western religions and moved east. Zen was the last thing I came to. I read something by D. T. Suzuki and the bells started ringing. I remember shaking with excitement as I read. I didn't know what he was talking about, but it felt like he knew what he was talking about and therefore, it was available to me." So, I went after Zen.

Connie: What was the difference that you found in Zen?

Cheri: In fact I have no respect at all for believing and I never have. Believing is just scarifying to me because of the way people just make things up that seem logical or believable to them and they feel secure because they believe this stuff they have made up! So it really appealed to me that Zen not only didn't ask me to believe anything, but actively discouraged believing anything. The basis of it is first let go of everything and then see where you are. That was extremely attractive and intelligent.

Connie: One of the things about Zen that is wonderful and hard for me is it's simplicity.

Cheri: If it's this simple then what do I do with myself? I'm used to struggle, angst and effort. If it's that simple what's going to happen to my identity. This is the whole point of Zen. The ultimate question for Zen is "Who am I?" I like to phrase it "What is this "I" who is in this relationship to life, being the subject in life and making life the object.

Connie: Seems like we have it all backwards.

Cheri: We have it all backwards! The thing that is frustrating or compelling, depending on your mood, is that we can know that but the knowledge doesn't release us from the trap. In certain parts of the world the way monkeys are trapped is to build a box with an opening just large enough for the monkey to get it's hand through the hole. A banana is put in the box and when the monkey reaches in and grabs the banana it's hand won't come back through the hole and the monkey is trapped. The monkey doesn't realize that letting go of the banana will allow him or her to escape. That is the human condition!

Connie: I see lots of people struggling with wanting to be right and then when they're right feeling rotten.

Cheri: You can even be rotten because you want to be right! When we are growing up being right was being good and being good got you loved. This is huge. It is so hard to believe that other people are coming from a completely different reality than we are coming from. The very concept invalidates us. One of us is right and the other has to be wrong. Then everybody gets to feel bad. This is another example of the first reality where we suffer.

Connie: Many of your first books were hand printed. Why did you change to typesetting?

Cheri: Changing to typesetting was a big mistake! We are not going to do it again. The reason we started hand printing in the beginning was economics. June, at the Zen Center learned to do hand printing and the little drawings and found she loved doing it. With The Key, people said "People won't buy hand printed books." The Key has a life of it's own all over the world. Sara Jenkins, author of Suffering is Optional recently said to me "You have broken every rule in publishing and are successful. Why are you worrying now?" So I'm not going to think about typesetting any more.

Connie: Your books have a gentleness to them or a "personal-ness."

Cheri: It communicates what you said in the beginning "this is simple." Children can understand these books quite readily. They come from the heart not the head. I feel that way about them, too.

Connie: What can people expect from your workshop and upcoming book on compassionate awareness and acceptance?

Cheri: I hope people will experience acceptance for themselves. It can be direct or acceptance of someone else in their lives, a difficult situation, a decision they need to make, something they feel bad about. That's what we are going to go for: closing in on an experience. Realizing there is nothing wrong. Every moment of life is an opportunity to let go of what we have been doing to keep us separate from life. To allow our awareness to expand and to have an experience of being held in that compassionate acceptance that is life.

Connie: Thanks, Cheri.

Join Cheri at New Renaissance Bookshop for a Friday night talk, Acceptance, on April 19 and a Saturday workshop, There is Nothing Wrong With You, on April 20, 2002. Call 503-224-4929 or visit our website: www.newrenbooks.com to read a description or register.