March/April 2002 Spirituality
Blind Faith / Unfore"seen" Opportunity

by Lisa Hepner

Often people have associated the word “blind” with faith, saying that it was “blind” faith that she quit her job. The term “blind faith” is quite accurate, though. Ultimately, faith is when you “see” and believe something in your mind and heart before it appears in the outer world. Faith is a knowing that something is happening, even before it becomes evident.

For seven years, I was in an unfulfilling career in the medical field. I had always dreamed of being a writer and expressing myself creatively, but had been told that writing was something you did as a hobby and that it could never be self-supportive. So I stayed in my “safe” job in medicine. During the last couple of years, I experienced intense burnout. I felt like all my creative talents were being “snuffed” because of the environment I was in.

I had been studying spiritual principles for many years, and truly believed that every one of us is “wired” for abundance, happiness and prosperity. I even caught myself telling others to take risks and to follow their passion. I told them to do what they love, and know that the money will follow. Yet I was not “walking the walk” only “talking the talk.”

One day, someone very close to me lost his job. I was ecstatic. “What an opportunity,” I congratulated. I knew this person had wanted to try something else, but had not been pushed to leave his comfort zone. So, I felt this was God’s way of saying, “Well if you don’t do it of your own free will, I’ll give you a little push.” “Now you can do what you want to do,” I said, “Maybe this is a Godsend.”

Then I had an “ah-ha!” moment, one of those moments of profound realization, when I understood that I could see such positive intent and have such excitement and wisdom for someone else’s situation, yet I couldn’t believe it for myself. If I believed in the abundance of the Universe, I would believe that, I too, could do what I love and be provided for.

The little voice inside my head that said, “follow your dreams, take that risk,” kept getting louder and louder. And although I was living paycheck to paycheck on my above average salary in the medical field, I decided to quit my job and pursue my writing career and a business idea I had been exploring. I gave myself six months. I felt that if I could just have those six months I would be able to step into my God-given expression. At that moment, I took a “blind” leap of faith.

After about three months, the money started running out. I had underestimated my financial expenses. While, I was making progress with my writing projects and business I was getting desperate financially. Practically speaking, I realized I would HAVE to go back to medicine. I dreaded returning, yet I emotionally prepared myself to look for work in the next couple of weeks.

Then the events of September 11th happened, and catapulted me in a new direction I could have never foreseen before. As a spiritual seeker, I look to spiritual mentors in times of crises. So, naturally, I wondered what Neale Donald Walsch, Marianne Williamson, Jean Houston and others would say about the tragedy. What words of wisdom and comfort would they offer?

Then I got an idea to compile a book on the subject. I worked diligently on the project for the next couple of months. I ended up self-publishing the book, making enough money in pre-orders to pay for the printing, and somehow managed to sustain myself financially during the process.

At the time I took that “blind” leap of faith to pursue my writing career, I had no idea that it would express itself this way. I do know for sure that had I been working full time in my JOB, this book would never have happened. I needed to act immediately and devote all my time and energy into it. I would not have been able to under any other circumstance.

The question that pops into my mind is, “Did God know all along that I was supposed to do this, and therefore gave me that push inside that told me to be at the right place at the right time, and in the prime position for taking on such a task? My only answer is that I listened to that urging to express myself in a greater way, and now I am holding the finished book in hand, which is a labor of love far greater than I knew I would accomplish.

Lisa Hepner is a chaplain at the Living Enrichment Center in Wilsonville, Oregon. She has compiled a book titled Peaceful Earth: Spiritual Perspectives on Hope and Healing Beyond Terrorism. She is currently working on a second book called Peaceful Earth: Stories of Peace for our Youth. For more information: www.peacefulearth.org.